Evangelion: Libertas & Animus
by Veronica Avalon
Summary: Given a choice, what would one do?
1. Default Chapter

**Neon Genesis ****Evangelion:**

**Libertas & Animus**

_**Prologue : Desumo**_

* * *

****

Forgiveness, a noble and undeniable morality of mans freewill, an aptitude no other animals on this earth has. God and man alike hold these values as equals, a small symbol of similarity that is overlooked by many. For the beings that stand between men and God, Freewill is an enigma; they invoke pure love to God, and act as his messengers, when one falls from grace it not for one to use freewill to grant them redemption. For the fate of one such Angel, damnation seemed unavoidable. Azazel, of the ones who never sleep, joined two hundred fellow angels, known as the Watchers, and descended from heaven to teach mankind in the arts of knowledge in a misguided attempt to make them happy. Though not the leader Azazel was given the brunt of the blame, and for his sins, he was thrown into the canyon of Duadel, pinned with sharp rocks, with his face covered. There he thought he would spend eternity until redemption would come.

In the early years of the twenty first century, man unlocked the key to their own destruction thanks in part to the action of the Watchers. In their infinite arrogance, a select group of men calling themselves Seele, declared themselves judge, jury, and executioner for mankind. To complete their task they stole what was not theirs, Adam. Even Azazel in his dark prison felt the roar from heaven, the sorrow of a God he still loved crying out. The crime was not with out punishment, as God brought forth the second flood and with simple words he decimated his beloved creation. For the sin would bring the eighteen trials of man and with it, the possible end of mankind. Despite such transgressions, God allowed such a passage to come true, for he cannot change freewill, even if it's the act of a few. For the Watcher, Azazel, an angel who has not fallen or holds grace, the coming of the end gave him a chance of redemption.

To compile their sins, a single member of the Seele conceived a child of horror and transgression. With the secrets of Heaven a man named Gendo Ikari created his own messenger, a sickening perversion of two of God's greatest works, Angel and Human. This being comes to be known as by Rei, Rei Ayanami. As if thought as punishment, Azazel was released from his prison and assigned to this creature's wellbeing. Despising such a being, Azazel becomes a silent witness to its life. Nevertheless from time, grows respect, and understanding. A creature that was created by sin, can not be blamed for that sin he thought. His respect soon turned to love, and the Angel Azazel finally remembers what he had lost on earth before the first flood, a child like this one. Yet his love comes only at the point of the child's death. With it comes sadness, not even a million years pinned by sharp rock could compare to such a punishment. Even with the child's rebirth, Azazel felt that it was not enough, this creature deserved better then what its caretakers have given it. As the creature continues to grow, so does Azazel, before long despite being ousted from heaven, the Angel treats the half bread as his principle, guarding her as best he can. When the girl became of age, and began to pilot the panicle in mad science, the bio synthetic life form known simply as Evangelion, Azazel followed. Even if the creature was unaware or unfaithful he would bare witness to all of her follies, and pains with in this beast. When the reckoning comes, and the Angels of judgment appear, it is with out thought that Azazel sides with Rei. However as time grew, Azazel discovered that Rei lacked the basics of all of man abilities, something her guardian has suppressed from her. Azazel watches as she struggles to create them or value them. For an Angel that may nor have value to God, he can still pray to him for the love that he shares with the girl does not go in vain.

On a sunny November sky, Azazel watches in absolute horror as one of his own, Armisael. Its form majestically spirals in the air its inner woven strands seem beautiful to even the Watcher. He has watched many of battles that Rei has been in, but none ever became so vile. In unspoken protest, Azazel watches as his comrade attacks Rei with brutal efficiency. Pleading for his fellow angel to stop it is then that Azazel wonders the reasoning to watch who he loves as her Angel die a second time. Her death however is not brought by the angel but by herself. In an attempt to save someone she cared for, Rei Ayanami did what only love can bring, sacrifice. In her final breaths, this abomination of man and Angel became the closest to human that Azazel has ever seen.

Before the angel can shed a single tear for the girl and praise her for doing what not even he thought could be done, a new duty is awarded to the once forsaken angel. For he was not the only one impressed with the beings task and for such unconditional sacrifice, Azazel is charged to confront Rei Ayanami and offer her a choice. A choice that could be the girls first steps into humanity and womanhood, or her last into emptiness. As for Azazel he is more then honored to do such as task, but can he convince one that lacks self will to take such a leap of faith, it is his challenge he must face alone.

* * *

Awaking in a pool of blood, the thin and pale naked body of Rei Ayanami lays face down and the sight of what she so fears, has her quickly pull out of it. Her surroundings seem foreign, even if she knows where she is. Surrounded by twisted metal and blood covered steel, she look to the remains of an Evangelion Entry Plug. The Throne of Souls is snapped in two, from first glance the blue haired girl is shocked to see the chard remains of the lower torso of a body. The legs seem to be fused with the Plug suit and in turn fused to the metal of the leg rest. Looking towards the top of the Entry plug Rei finds that the entire cylinder has been broken in two, with only slivers of metal holding it together. From the openings light shines into the plug, and with this light Rei can see the rest of the body, and to some amazement she stares at herself. The upper torso and head is with the rest of the Throne smashed into the far end of the plug. The skin on the dead Rei's face seems to be pulled back and burnt off, one arm is completely missing and the other is mutilated beyond recognition. Her internal organs seem to hang out slightly as if what's left of her chest cavity is pinned to seat. Disturbed by the sight, Rei can only stare at her own naked body wondering why she is in existence.

Taking hold of her own hand Rei realizes that she has lost all scene of feeling. Making her way out of the plug, the girl is struck with a flood of sunlight; however, not one ray of warmth is felt. Exiting, Rei bares witness to her actions, which has brought her to this unknown predicament. Form mountaintop to mountaintop there is nothing but destruction; a total city has been wiped off the map. Seeing the amount of trees around her Rei is surprised, however her Evangelion did at the last millisecond attempt an auto eject. This didn't save the plug from destruction merely tossed its flaming wreckage in to a far mountain side. For a moment Rei can't help but feel lonely, such a grotesque sight in all direction seems to stutter Rei's thoughts. Yet one does remain, why she is still in existence, despite her death she stands free of harm and covered in only what nature gives her.

'Blessed are these times child of man, for even God watches over one born from sin.'

The voice seemed powerful and for of life, yet it wasn't even heard but felt. The language itself when looking back to it wasn't even of Rei's native tongue. Looking around for who cast such a statement, Rei narrows her eyes. Her search need not be long, as standing behind Rei is a man in dusty robs and wooden sandals. He is barely taller then Rei and his heads covered in a large wicker hat that is circular in shape and goes to a point at the top. Even with the hat, the man's silver hair can be seen spilling form it and lying down on to the back of his robs. What catches Rei's attention is this mans eyes, as they are the same as hers, red.

'Praise the lord, for you have been chosen to undo that injustice that has been done.'

Even if the girl is possibly dead, Rei takes no chances as she stares at the man. His gaze is haunting to her it seems full of joy yet his face is stone cold. "Identify yourself."

'Lady Ayanami, please do not fear I am a being of god, your eyes of hope, your voice to who cannot speak.'

Rei seems not convinced she is also unwilling back down, holding her stare, studying the being before her. "Are you an Angel?"

"You asked that of Armisael, before you blow her and yourself in to oblivion." These are the first word spoken by the man; it seems to be pleasing to Rei to see one trick has ended. She finally blinks, which even eases the Angel. "I am Azazel, a member of the Heavenly host, once assigned to the Choirs of Principalities." For his reward Azazel is given silence. Rei looks towards the sky to the sound of Helicopters. This brings a smile to Azazel, because her actions are that as if she was alive. "Lady Ayanami, you look to them as if they were to save you." Still silence, however Azazel has watched this girl for her entire life, and this is her standard reaction to new things. "Even if you had a life to save, they wouldn't save it."

Not one to miss even the smallest of details in one speech, Rei turns to the man that is smiling at her. "So I am dead."

Lowering his head the Angel speaks with sincerity. "With a great apology, I must confirm your thought."

Looking to her hands, Rei seems disappointed and disturbed. "Why am I here?"

With a few steps, Azazel stands in front of Rei, his smile wiped clean his eyes full of resolution. "That is a matter of perspective, you should be asking how do I leave. Being a creature of both mortal and immortal blood you are an enigma to life and death. A conception of dark and light, good and evil either of which you hold. A fine line you walk lady Ayanami. Because of this you have become an unclaimed, however that is not beyond the measure of Gods understanding. This is why you and I are, here together."

It takes sometime for Rei to follow everything the Angel has said, but once she repeats what was spoken in her mind, she gives a simple reply. "Why am I here?"

Even if he does not show it, Azazel is impressed, the girl was able to understand him quicker then he thought. "I guess I should answer your question. However with your death like your death before hand will trigger the rise of another. The third will only bring even more chaos then you as the second. Your death corrupted a solution to the problem that the will of the few seek. Each time you are brought back it creates a flocculation, eroding away man's ability to abstain a proper conclusion to Revelations. For the third version acts on the freewill of one and turns a world of Freewill for all man to this…"

The ground beneath Rei begins to fill with blood which has her step back in fright. However as soon as she looks away she notices that she stares at an unworldly sight. The Entry Plug is gone and so are most of the trees only stumps remain. Around her the ground is soaked in blood, and as if this world could be anymore unbearable she sees her own head on the horizon sinking into the Red Ocean it rests in. Alarmed the girl turns back to see her Angel.

"To think that the first world the humans resided in was perfect, a rapture that even rivaled heaven, Eden was only overshadowed in its colossal failure." Seeing that Rei is frightened by the image of her head lying in an ocean of blood is discomforting to the Angel. He closes the distance and stands next to her fixated on the image that discomforts Rei. "For many Angels like myself, its end was unfathomable and confusing, how could one give up perfection. For some it was quiet simple, a part of humans, Angels do not have or can conceive because of our absolute love for God, Freewill. With great arrogance some started to believe that human's freewill was a need for imbalance a world that is regrettably chaotic would better fit their needs. So I, and two hundred fellow Angels wished to enhance that need and we descended, and taught man the secrets of Heaven, Science, math, and technology. We thought that this would stimulate a more pleasing effect enhancing freewill, our action became tainted and we courted human wives. We took rule over humans, taking away their freewill and nearly brought man to death, thus the first flood. Our action created a generation of chaos set on a path of self destruction. To fix this God had one of our children select a human to choose the path of the many. Even if this solved the problem it was fundamentally flawed, for man would never recover from our actions. This half bread that selected a human was killed there after to eliminate the final imbalance and restore humanity. This half bread was my child, a sin I still carry to this day, yet his sacrifice and my failures frustrated me. I have since spent my days imprisoned for my actions, surrounded with only cold rock and my thoughts. I realized the Watchers didn't understand the fundamental purpose behind Freewill, for it wasn't chaos that made up freewill it was Freedom, a freedom we took away when we gave them secrets from the Kingdom of God the same freedom man lacked in the Garden of Eden. We were blinded by our love for God that we didn't understand that Human need their choices in life and even in sin. Why my child was chosen eluded me until, I was shown the life of someone."

Rei turns to face, this strange being she has come to understand as an Angel. "Whose?"

"Yours…" Azazel smiles as her places his hand on Rei's shoulder; the touch isn't felt and does not bother the girl. "An innate being that was nor man or Angel your existence was stemmed by a single mans desire to end humanity even if it was unwilling. Like before, when ones Freewill is restricted even if they are only aware of it on the a spiritual level cause chaos. So a representative is selected or should I say created in your case, to allow nearly one hundred percent of all humans to except whoever this representative selects to choice man's fate. The side effect is that this prevents from even the simplest of natural functions from working, such as reproduction. Just as the Watchers, a select group has stolen mans Free will and with it created chaos. With out the ability to choose all together, those who wish to end man, must create a being to make their selection. Using what they learned from the first flood, they needed a being that was both man and Angel, this properly enacted your creation. Like my child, it was his duty to select Noah, like it is your duty to select one to decide the fate of all."

Such an exhausting tale seems unneeded just to explain to her what she already knows. Her purpose in life was clear but what she seeks has nothing to do with life. "I already knew my purpose in life; this does not explain my current state."

Waving his finger in the air, Azazel gazes into Rei's eyes, to see frustration. "Please, I was getting to that. Rei, unlike from before your creation was destroyed once, and now a second time. This has created an ill effect to the ability for you to enact, for that matter to choose a proper avatar for man. The end result is that nearly all of man is destroyed ending it all together. To prevent this action I have been sent to offer you a choice, a chance to prevent what you see from ever coming to pass."

Rei doesn't seemed convinced even if what she sees is not what she expected her end would bring she holds no trust in the word of an Angel. "You can't stop the future no matter what one does."

"Very Angelic…" The Angel tips his hat back and turns to face the land of destruction that consumes both of them. "Your comment is expected, being a of nor man or Angel you have struggled to understand the basic concepts of freewill and human emotion such as Hope. Even if you have the abilities to use them, you have been suppressed and created not to. Your enslaver, or should I say creator, didn't not want you to have such freedom. You are a doll to him, he needs nothing from you but to die, and give him his wish no matter what man wants."

"I am not a doll."

Azazel gives a small chuckle, the way Rei delivered her statement was almost as if she played a recording of when she said that same line on an elevator days beforehand. "Yes, only recently you have been able to unlock a part of your humanity just enough to be confused at what you see. Only in your last action of life did you finally brake free of you bondage and be able to become human. In bitter irony it cost your life, but once more that is why you are here. Unlike your first death you had no ability to make a choice and wouldn't lead away from what you see. However, now you have shown that you can be human. With that I have been sent to see if you are willing to act on this, and change this future from occurring."

Keeping her eyes on the Angel, Rei tries to see if there is any deviancy in his voice, however none can be seen. Still cautious, Rei steps back not liking what possibly stands before her. "Servants of god, what choice do you bring, that I would accept?"

Short and sweat the Angel thinks as he turns back and looks to the teenager. "To go back in time before your death, and with the knowledge that you hold now, forge a path to riotousness instead of Judgment day. In doing so you will be rewarded."

"Angel's baring gifts, seldom offer rewards for taking them, only devils partake in such action." The statement from Rei was cold and somewhat insulting, however Rei isn't one to care about who she speaks.

For Azazel, he agrees with the girl, but he knows more then he lets on, and when speaking he meant not to mention about rewards. "This is true, but a reward could mean many things, not just an item that pleases you."

Once more Rei tries to see for any hints of foul play; still she is not given any reason not to believe the person before her. "I can not trust you. You are an Angel, one of my enemies."

"And what made Angels your enemy." Crossing his arms Azazel tilts his head to have his face covered in shadow by his hat. "The only thing that has troubled me Lady Ayanami is your inability to see past what is told to you. The man known as Gendo Ikari is the one that might have created your body, but he did not create your soul no matter how much he wishes he can control it. You are as free as any other human yet you hold the power to destroy them, your knowledge is vast. Still you cast logic to the wind every time that pathetic excuse of a human tells you something. Even as he defiles you and belittles you, you follow his arrogant ways. If you wish not to be called a doll then don't perform like one."

The thought seems logical to Rei yet, to her she is still trying to find an error in the Angel's logic to see where the trap is. "My choice of which I follow, logical or not is my choice, is it no different if I except your choice, am I not as foolish?"

"Possibly it is just as foolish but this choice will not be pre-selected by others…" The Angel closes the gap Rei made when she stepped back in hopes to see if she trusts him. "Lady Ayanami I can not tell you to except what I offer, however I can say if you except you do so freely and with out him pointing you to where he wants you to go. It is that mans action that has leaded you to death, and stunted your ability to be human. When you sacrificed yourself to save his son, was an act of Freewill, and with out his consent."

Rei is slowly starting except her predicament; even if she considers the Angel a threat his offer is tempting. This has the girl bow her head in thought. Usually a decision this big in her life would be handled by her guardian. However Gendo is not here nor does she want him, in her mind only one thing is repeated. Shinji words to her the day he pulled her from her Entry Plug. His smile was one of the last things she remembered alive and now in death it was his words that cast over her.

'As long as we survive, someday we will be glad we lived through this.'

The idea eluded her ability to understand until now. The idea of survival is something she never really conceived. For a clone of many, death is merely a stage of life, easily made up with the conception of another. For her she has lived a life of over nine years, she knew that the third would only be half as capable as herself. With out the control of Gendo's strong presence, natural instinct begins to overwhelm Rei. "I must not prevent what he wants…"

Such a small defense to the girl's brainwashed mind means to Azazel that he is getting through. "Then what about Shinji, the boy you just saved?"

"Then I will let him choice the fate of man."

The girl's eyes stare to her feet, Azazel watches as they dart back and forth trying to end the confusion his thought has delivered. "Then what about, the other's… Asuka Langley Souyu, Touji Suzahara, Misato Katsuragi… This is what the flaw of the first flood, the choice of only one, prevents the freewill of others."

"Then your offer is pointless, I can not stop the emendable."

Rei's words where that of desperation. Her mind can't go own trying to solve such a paradox, in this it frustrates the girl. She thought her purpose in life had meaning but in the end it merely meant nothing. For Azazel he watches as the girls eyes begin to water and tears begin to form. "My offer is not for you to go back and tell you who to select, it is to prevent it from ever occurring."

Wiping her eyes free of tears, Rei does her best to keep her composure. The Angel seems unaffected by her problems with such an open ended solution. A life of solitude and oppression can have ill effects on ones mind, something Rei is just beginning to realize. "Say I take your offer, were would I go, how will I know what to do?"

"First you must repent…" Stepping closer to Rei, the Angel know stands only a couple of feet away. "I don't mean verbally, you must see past yourself to find a truth that you can call your own. With repent you will then find Redemption, with that it will bring, salvation."

The Angel may sound impressive but Rei has no need for riddles. "You didn't answer my question."

Pushing his hat up, the Angel allows Rei to see his smile. "Basically you have to discover that on your own."

"There are too many variables…"

Once more the Angel can see that Rei is unwilling to make any drastic change to her ideology to quickly. "Did a variable stop you from confronting Asuka, did a Variable stop you from talking to the ill fated Fourth child. Did it stop you from charging a one armed beast against the Angel of Might only armed with a bomb?" The Angel takes the final steps needed to be only inches from Rei's face. "Lady Ayanami, did a Variable stop you from sacrificing yourself?" Rei already knew the answers to these questions, and knowing them doesn't help her cause. Seemingly defeated by the Angel she can only look at him eye to eye waiting for what he wants her to do. Seeing that Rei is willing to go along with the Angel, he continues on his proposal. "The choice is simple, the task is hard, but if you are to succeed, you can save man from this fate. I leave this to you; I have given all the information I have to help you make your choice."

"If I say no?"

Giving a simple sigh that seems to disturb Rei, the Angel points to the world around him. "Then this is man's fate, total eradication, Gendo doesn't even get to see his wife. Shinji lives his last days with Asuka, before his death."

It is obvious where the Angel stands on the issue, and Rei tries her best not to let it affect her judgment. She knows all to well that this could be a trap, in fact the entire thing could be a fabrication of the Angel that she thought she destroyed. So many questioned still yet remain but Rei has no way of asking them properly. The man that has put her to this position simply stares at her waiting for her reply. Rei is well aware that her third copy will be of poor quality. Even is she has grown some dislike of the idea that Gendo is implementing, it's not like she can stop it, or be willing to. Rei owes her life to him, she feels. Still on that same front, she should do her best to maybe warn her master. Then again that could just mean in her destruction.

"This problem is confusing." Rei mutters in a flutter of thought. "Despite what I see, I see nothing that would tell me that instrumentality failed." Her surroundings blur for a moment and as quickly as she came to this time in the world she has been moved to the shoreline, from there she can see Shinji lying on top of Asuka crying. The sight bothers Rei; it is seen as being pathetic. "I stand corrected."

So much is needed for this fragile young girl to end her confusion. For Rei, her mind is still that of a child, and unable to produce a logical original thought process other then what she is told. This brings slight anger to Rei, knowing that she has been stunted mentally. The Angel continues to smile as if he knows more then he lets on. This fact is true for the Angel, for Rei mind is still so simple and grasping the concept and consequences of her to go back is held with in the Angels mind.

"I choose…."

Seeing her hesitate, Azazel Gives one thought to ponder on. "Look, around you lady Ayanami this can all be forgotten, wiped for existence and turned for the better… would you really pass that up. Or let time continue into destruction."

The idea complicates a ever more complicated problem. "I am not concerned for my own wellbeing."

"Nothing?" The Angel points down to the crying Shinji smiling. "Are you sure there wasn't something in this world you wanted more of."

Wincing at the Idea of an independent wants hurts at first, but then if brings a rush of thoughts to Rei's mind. "I do not understand how I should process what I feel. I want to help, but I do not wish to go against what I am here to do."

"Think…" The Angel waves his hands in front of Rei's eyes and the sight of Third Impact ends and the peace of a city in harmony returns. Standing on a side walk Rei is awed by such power. Looking at all the people alive and well seem a lot more comforting then a sight of destruction. "A world where you and you alone can do what you wish. The feeling all humans have… even you."

"Human…?"

With a smirk on his face the Angel leans over to Rei. "Let me show you." Giving a simple touch onto Rei's shoulder, the Angel sends a new emotion to flood into Rei's mind. The girls face becomes red, and quickly Rei covers her naked body with her arms as she crouches to the ground. Hyperventilating, Rei's eyes darts around at everyone around her. Her face's is that of shame, and embarrassment. "This is what the first sin of man gave them."

Before Rei can even express her displeasure, the fact that she even feels such a emotion is like a drug, and adrenaline that makes her feel stronger. "This is shame… This is what one should feel when defenseless when exposed."

"I have given all I can give…" The Angel snaps his fingers as he speaks returning Rei to her original location, the shattered remains of her Entry Plug behind her. "Now you must choose."

"I…." Rei looks to her body, then to the ground. "I…" Rei is to the point of breaking her wants, and needs begin to blur her heart and mind falls into chaos. Despite this Rei wants to make a decision she wants to end this here and now. But how is the question she can not answer. Her heart seems to speed up each time an attempt is made to speak.

"I choose…"

* * *

What would Rei choose? 


	2. Chapter One: Instituouiutum

**Neon Genesis ****Evangelion:**

**Libertas & Animus**

Chapter One: **Instituo-ui-utum**

* * *

God, Heaven, hell, it can all be trivial to a human that has lost all care for a broken world. Earth is nothing more then a depository of death and ruin in the eyes of many. Life could be described as a farce, to those who survived the wrath of second impact. For those who truly knew what brought about the death of over half the worlds population it is just one travesty after other until man stumbles into oblivion. For the opinion of one such man of insight, the cost it took to rob God from his treasure was nothing more then an occupational hazard. Gendo Ikari, a cold and seemingly heartless man, a perfect leader to shepherd man to its own destruction. The power in one man hands only gathers sin for company. It is rumored by his security team that Ikari's own guardian Angel forsaken him for his crimes against God. If one could see said angel all one would see is a fading light in the distance never in focus whispering for freedom. What could possibly drive a man to such evil? Not even Satan himself could lay claim to such an evil. Gendo himself created himself, in his own image.

"Do you have a God complex…?"

Such an open ended question is typical of the elder comrade to Gendo, the man's patsy who decided to turn into a wolf instead of being eaten by one. The question is asked with in the confines of Gendo's office. The room is poorly lit and for one simple reason, death is before long so why care about your eyes. Light echoes off the glass floor, resonating from the Tree of Sephiroth that is etched in the ceiling. Gendo sits in his chair with one hand supporting his head slightly as the other clicks away at a keyboard. The light from his monitor shines off of the man's thick glasses preventing his senior scientist the ability to see his eyes. Fuyutsuki glares down to Gendo with near disgust he lived to long to be ignored by a man younger then him.

The grey haired Fuyutsuki doesn't have to wait to long, only long enough to get annoyed before Gendo answers. "Of course not."

Gendo stares down his comrade with as much mistrust that he gave him when they first met. His action is hidden by his glasses but Fuyutsuki knows what Gendo is doing. "Today we are about to take a child of your own creation, a weapon of saints and demons, and wrap them together into a fighting machine."

"You forget that all of this is possible because we are using what we stole from God." Giving a chuckle, Gendo stands up straightening his uniform. "No, I don't have a God complex; I would never want to say that I am him, because..."

As he walks past Fuyutsuki, he watches as the taller man steps back arms crossed. "Because, what?"

"Because he's my only equal."

Gendo doesn't even look for a response to his cynical joke, before he exits. He just continues on his way to an elevator which takes him away from even getting a response. The trip is short and it takes him to a level above where he goes to a tramcar that begins to take him to the surface of the Geo-Front. The ride is quick and quiet just the way the supreme commander of NERV likes it. So it is before long his trip takes him even below the surface and into Central Dogma the heart of NERV headquarters itself. A short walk takes him deep with in the labret and to his final goal a medical lab.

* * *

Inside he is greeted by the fair and beautiful Ritsuko that he indulges in from time to time. She smokes on a cigarette as she handles a pair of tweezers and flashlight. Her look is filled with frustration as she works on a wrist portion of an Evangelion Plug Suit. The rest of the white suit drapes over he legs as she sits in a chair. Ritsuko doesn't even respond to Gendo's too focused on her work to care. Sitting next to the doctor is whom Gendo does seek. Naked, pail, and as frail as a concentration camp victim Rei Ayanami only gives a small smile past her emotionless void when she sees Gendo. The smile quickly disappears and the cold stare of emptiness returns which brings a smile to Gendo's face.

Gendo takes great pleasure in his work. Walking over to Rei he runs his hand through her short scruffy hair. "So how are you coming?"

"Damn it…" Ritsuko curses under her breath as she just dropped her flashlight to the ground. "Those assholes from Environmental can't even make a plug suit with out fucking it up."

Looking over to the doctor Gendo sees that she is working on the delicate Air release switch on Rei's plug suit. This has been a problem since the final plug suit was designed only a month ago. "It's all we have, Doctor."

With a couple more seconds of working on the Plug suit Ritsuko begins to put in back together and also taps off the cheery on her cigarette looking to Gendo with a smile. "Well our little pilot physical came out okay, she's as good as she can get, isn't that right kid."

"Yes ma'am."

Tossing the plug suit at Rei it strikes her in the chest and falls into her lap. Gendo eyes the doctor as she seems more concerned about pouring herself a cup of coffee then the treatment of the First child. However he helps Rei stand up and stares at her face seeing what he searches for in the girl's blood stained eyes.

Picking up the plug suit Gendo hands it to Rei and smiles before he turns to Ritsuko. "Has she recovered from her… tampering problems?"

"You mean is she recovering from her rape." Ritsuko gives a chuckle as she sits back done at her desk picking up a clipboard full of her notes from Rei physical. "The vaginal bruising is all healed up from that incident last week. The least I could say about Private Jin… Jun… whatever his name was." She takes a sip of her coffee and a puff form her cancer stick before going on. "A Lieutenant of the Eva's Entry Plug Maintenance team was pissed that they're a man short."

"Excellent…" Gendo peers out of the corner of his eye at Rei as she finishes changing. "I'm sure you're pleased on the selection of Evangelion Operations Director."

Tossing the clip bored on the desk, Ritsuko finishes her cigarette and puts it out in an ash tray. "Katsuragi, sure it was my idea to get her. You wanted the easiest person to control and manipulate, and Misato is as easy as they get."

Hearing the sarcastic tone in the woman's voice brings a few intriguing thoughts before he makes his way to the door. "I will be waiting for you in the control room. Good luck Rei."

"Thank you sir…"

Staring off in disgust at the very sight of Rei, Ritsuko watches as Gendo leaves before lighting up another cigarette. "Rei did you remember to use the bathroom before you got that thing on?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Now standing, Ritsuko picks up a set of sync clips from her desk and walks over to Rei who stand with her Plug suit one but not compressed. Seeing that Rei is hesitant a little to press the Air release valve, the good doctor presses it for her. In a second the plug suit tightens around Rei's body conforming to her fine figure. With that out of the way, Ritsuko places the sync clip band around the girls head and adjusts it until the two nods are firmly against Rei's head. Stepping back Ritsuko pulls the cigarette out of her mouth and crosses her arms. "You don't look half bad Rei."

The comment doesn't even warrant a response from Rei as Ritsuko puts what left of her cigarette in her ash tray and takes hold of a clipboard. Seeing that Ritsuko wishes for Rei to follow by a head gesture she does so in a slow and silent walk. As they make their way down a hallway and to an elevator Rei only focuses on the path ahead. Her thoughts are still and empty, nothing too amply of a danger that lies ahead in the girls life. As the two walk by they both take no notice of ghostly figures that stand in a passing corridor. At the last minute Rei does stop and turn back to the passageway, all it leads to is another empty hallway.

Her actions are noticed by Ritsuko, who turns to her. "What's wrong?"

Taking a breath all Rei can smell is the remains of the tobacco from Ritsuko's clothing. "I thought I…" Rei's words become tangled her breath as if it was taken away from her. Grabbing her chest Rei begins to feel as if thousands of hands just reach through her body. Falling backwards into Ritsuko's arms Rei releases a silent scream before passing out. The dead weight of Rei is too much for Ritsuko who drops to the ground alongside with Rei.

"Shit!"

Taking hold of Rei's head Ritsuko begins to check for a pulse only to be hindered by the plug suit. Right when she goes to call for help Rei body jolts and the girl takes a large breath of air, rolling out of Ritsuko's arm Rei grabs her face as she stares upwards on her knees to the lights in the ceiling. Taking a second breath Rei closes her eyes to calm her body by raping it in her arms. Ritsuko stands staring at the girl unsure on what just happened. The tranquil scene of Rei's stance ends as she begins to violently seizer yet not fall to the ground.

Pulling a pager from her coat pocket Ritsuko strikes a button on it, and it begins to pulsate with a red glow. Dropping it she runs down the hall about five meters and opens up a compartment in the wall. When she does an alarm goes off, a piercing and echoing buzz. All is necessary to retrieve a medical kit, and a portable Dephibulator. Rushing back to Rei, Ritsuko is horrified to see that the girl is still sitting up on her knees her body shaking with no control and Foam coming from the mouth. Dropping the equipment she got to the ground, she is unable to look at Rei as the girls eyes are about to burst from their sockets.

"My God!"

* * *

The night could never come so quickly for Ritsuko Akagi, her day was supposed to be her crowning moment the day the First Evangelion is Activated. However it has turned in to a disaster like nothing she could have imagined. A sense of poetic justice to see yet another Akagi be driven to fear by Rei Ayanami. Ritsuko a fool at heart could never understand the exact logic behind her mother death until today. Just out side of NERV Headquarters, the steel plated pyramid that centers itself in the Geo-Front, Ritsuko leans on a pole. Going for a cigarette the woman shows true duress as she can barely get one out and put it in her mouth. It takes her a couple times to get it lit as well, but when the poison gets sucked into her lungs it brings great calm. However her hand still trembles as a man comes up behind her.

She needs not guess his name, for it is that of her superior, Gendo Ikari. Not even looking to him she takes a long drag from her cigarette. "I saw it… I saw it in her eyes today…"

"What did you see?"

"Hell itself."

Placing his hands in his uniforms coats pockets, the bearded man looks to the lake to let the water help guide his thoughts. "Your report said that the seizer was caused by some form of Epileptic shock."

"Shit, I don't know?" Ritsuko stares as she blows smoke into the air. "That's what the Magi said, in truth I don't know what the hell happened."

A moment of silence between the two allows the sound of only the tram system to be heard. Once it dissipates Gendo speaks. "In any case, I decided not to dispose of her; it would be too unstable if we brought a third copy in to the scenario. If Rei is epileptic, I want to have a solution to cure her as soon as possible. Even before that I need her ready for testing as soon as possible; we are running out of time."

As Gendo walks away Ritsuko is allowed to finish the last drag from cigarette before tossing it to the ground. "She nearly tore herself apart, in that seizer… it will be days until she can walk let alone attempt a test run."

* * *

Just below the 21st layer is NERV Central Trauma Center. There work some of the best Doctors known to man, even rivaling Johns Hopkins Hospital in the United States. The Hospital is also one of the largest in the world designed to handle "Mass Casualties." What is rarely talked about is that its home to the worlds largest Morgue. Down the halls of the hospitals darkest corners, which specializes in Emergency care for Evangelion pilots, just had their first patient. Rei Ayanami lies in her bed with the awe-inspiring view of the Geo-front just outside her windows. Sadly this sight can not be seen by the young being in the darkened room. Only the sound of her monitoring equipment and the faded voices from out side of her sealed room are heard.

'Lady Ayanami…'

Rei's first movement is from her mouth however, it only breaths a small breath. Closing it Rei slowly opens her eyes to find her vision blurry and painful. In fact her entire body feels as if she was beaten by bats. However it's a feeling none the less, as for Rei she has spent a better day with out any. Her last memories are that of fighting the sixteenth Angel, dieing, and then being offered a chance by a shady Angel named Azazel. Trying to move her hand to touch her face, Rei's only accomplishment is bringing her pain. She expresses it with a whimpering moan of innocents.

'Rest Lady Ayanami…'

For the first time, even with all the experiences she has had with Asuka Rei feels the desire to swear. "D…amn… you…."

'I am sorry for the pain lady Ayanami, but it was a small price to pay to bring you to where you wished to go.' Rei remains silent she just closes her eyes and hopes that she can sleep off the pain. But anyone in her condition would need more then a will to sleep to get there. 'You are only days from the coming of the Angels my lady. Good luck.'

"Shin… ji…"

Rei wasn't even sure on why she spoke of Shinji, it just came to mind. The thought seems odd for the girl. Of course, second thoughts on what she is doing also comes to bare. She may be injured but Rei was no fool, she knew when she was over her head. As her thoughts stream through her mind like prayers on a rosary, a new thought comes to mind. Before her death and travel back in time, an inner most feeling was unraveled by the halo shaped Angel.

'To become one, with Shinji.'

That open ended statement, eludes Rei's understanding. When she first met Shinji he was holding her in his arms. This reminded Rei of Gendo, but when Shinji spoke negatively of his father Rei became angered. When she stuck him across the face she was speechless in thought. She wanted to rise up and support her caretaker in words but she couldn't. Thankfully Rei's own thoughts can bring her to sleep, and it does for what she hopes is a long time.

* * *

Out side of a terminal, in Japan's latest International Airport a young captain of the UN organization known as NERV sits inside one of the small mini bars. She has just finished a small glass of Japanese saki, a simple drink this Japanese female hasn't had in five years. Running her hand through her hair the woman smiles to see that she has the eyes of every man in the airport. Her long raven black hair falls to her read uniform like silk.

"Knock it off Misato…"

Rolling her eyes to the familiar voice the siren turns to its deliverer. Leaning on the bar in between two stoles stand the tall blond Ritsuko still in her make shift outfit of a wet suit lab coat and skirt. The two only exchange a stare at first, not a warm stare that friends, but that of studying.

Misato stands and grabs a back pack by her feet, her Red NERV uniform bends with her curves perfectly to the disgust of only Ritsuko. "I see you haven't changed at all."

The lightheadedness of the tone used brings a smile to Misato as she takes hold of Ritsuko's right hand. "I see you haven't either."

"When you're married to your job, you have no time for men."

The comment seemed very much like Ritsuko, always ready to answer a question. Misato she was never expecting to get the transfer out of Germany, yet she stood back in her home country and now in charge of Evangelion Operations for NERV's headquarters. With a quick paying of her bill Misato allows Ritsuko to lead the way out of crowded Airport.

Looking at her friends back Misato is reminded that she has been waiting for over two hours. "So is there a reason why you are late, it's almost nineteen hundred."

"The hospital…" Misato smiles leaves her face, to the sound of Ritsuko's voice. "I was in the hospital with the First Child."

"Hospital… did something happen to her?"

As they exit the airport terminal Ritsuko pulls out a pack of cigarettes and begins to slap them against her palm. For Misato this is a bit of new information, the last time they were together Ritsuko had quit. "Right before the Activation test she fell into a really bad Seizer. Tore two muscles broke her hip and had one hundred and twenty three micro fractures all over her body. She latterly almost shook her body to pieces."

Holding out the pack to Misato, Ritsuko is surprised to see her wave her hand in passing on the chance of a free smoke. "No thanks Ritsuko, I quit a few years ago."

"I guess you have changed…" Ritsuko puts her pack away for herself. "Are you still a drunk."

Smiling Misato's gentle eyes look away knowing, that some personal things about her are very public, a past she wished to be forgotten. Watching as her friend lights her cigarette Misato can't help but begin to think deeply about her new position. In Germany she was defense and tactics supervisor with Evangelion Unit Two's Project team. Working with pilots were different, no one got hurt. Only problem she had, was with the second child's personality. Asuka Langley Souyu, Misato saw too much of her self in the spunky little red head. However the first child seems so distant, all she knows of her is from a picture taken for her Identification card. The picture also reminds her of herself, when she witnessed God's hands before her eyes, she was rendered silent for two years because of it. If the First Child was like that, Misato felt duty bound to help her. This child might have to defend the city, could Misato truly send a child out to their possible deaths. Misato's thoughts carry her all the way to Ritsuko's car and half way to NERV. With the usual small talk the two friends give each other, Misato pauses for a moment to ask a more relevant question. "The First Child, can I go see her?"

"You should really begin in-processing…" Ritsuko speaks with a dry tone not seeing the slight concern Misato gave in her own. "Besides she's most likely asleep. I pumped her up on enough morphine to drop a cow."

With a slight chuckle to the comment Misato leans her head onto the side window. "Still, I would like to at least see this kid before the days out."

It isn't like Misato to show so much attachment to people. Ever since her brake up with Ryouji Kaji, Misato kept her business professional. Ritsuko also heard of the captain's constant frustration with the Second Child, she feels that Rei's silence will keep her from getting to close.

* * *

Shame, the sense of having appeared, or spoken, or acted in an unbecoming manner. Physiologically, the consciousness caused by the activity of the neurons of the anterior intermediate area as these are stimulated by impulses form the primary and overflow motor areas, together with inhibitory impulses form other cortical areas. Thus, the constant sense of "wishing I am not doing this," which is so essential an element of shame. Never has Rei thought on how powerful this emotion can be. Cradled in the arms of two female nurses, Rei Ayanami lays naked and exposed, her face is flush with embarrassment as the two nurses' uses sponges to bathe the frail body that is before them.

"It's okay Miss Ayanami…"

One nurse's voice speaks to sooth Rei's feelings; however it does nothing for Rei. She keeps her eyes closed and her head turned away. The other nurse seems to be a little more understanding of Rei predicament.

Being the younger of the two she softly speaks to Rei and her friend. "I understand, you're young and unsure of yourself… we will be done as quickly as we can."

"I…" Rei voice seems to crack as she speaks; the pain is coming from her abdomen and it is sharp as knives.

A whispering hush from the nurse as she sponges around the girl's stomach helps a little in Rei's discomfort. Resting her head back Rei breaths a small sigh as the warm water trickles down from her chest and around her waist. Her thoughts got to what her body feels despite the pain. Simple pleaser from the touch of her skin has her truly thank that she is alive.

'Life!' Never has she had such a thought. She repeats the word one more time in the void of her mind. 'Life.'

Before long Rei bath is finished and she is in her hospital garments once more. As the two nurses gather their things to leave Rei closes her eyes and tries to speak, yet no words come. Some old habits are hard to end; not speaking to others is one of the hardest.

Just as they exit Rei whispers out the words she intended to say. "Thank you…"

Even if the two women heard nothing, it felt good to Rei that she said something. Resting in her bed in fresh cloths and a clean body, Rei listens to her IV as it drips down the tub. It occurs to Rei that she is still given morphine, despite its effectiveness, she is aware that in seven months her body will become addicted to it. Both Ritsuko and Gendo had no care, in fact they supplied Rei with the drugs. Just another method of control Rei thinks. The original sin of men has changed her more then she could imagine, being given a second chance with out the horrible feeling she had when she awoke as a little girl unsure of what even life is yet having memories of life.

Looking to her I.V. Rei follows the cored until she sees where the morphine drips into the simple hydration bag. Taking a deep breath the small arms of Rei reaches up and grabs the cord pulling it out of its connection plug. The entire act seemed to have taken all of Rei's strength.

However such an act brings an incredible smile to her only on looker. 'Can you taste the freedom Lady Ayanami, an act of choice an act of freewill?'

Rei knows that the angel holds no physical form even if his voice sounds as clear as day. "I must ask my self why I choose this path, if not to better the future. Logic dictates that I should have refused the gestures from you Watcher, and condemned my outcome to the will of my creator."

'A saying was once said to me once. Who is the greater fool, the fool or the fool who follows him?'

"I know that all he desires for is my demise, but that is not what Shinji wants from me."

Stillness fills the air, Rei face cringes with pain; she knows that the morphine in her system couldn't be wearing off. Still in her abdomen a cramp forms, Rei has no strength to move only bare with it. Rei refuses to call for aid; she knows that if she is too feeble she will be replaced with one of her mindless sisters that reside in the room of Guaf.

It has been a nearly three days since her arrival to this time. Soon the Angels will come; soon Rei must fight again, yet this time it is not for one's greed but for who she chooses. The thought reminds her of what Shinji has always asked of her. So with what little strength she can wield Rei forces herself to smile. As she does she seeming can breathe easier.

* * *

Little does Rei know that her actions are being watched by not just from a member of the heavenly host, but that of Doctor Akagi and Captain Katsuagi. The two ladies watch thinking that Rei is asleep Misato cracks a smile of her own, glad to see that Rei is more then the empty shell that she appears on her I.D. card. For Ritsuko the smile annoys her, as if it is directed to her. This is the first time ever that Rei had smiled when not in the presence of Ikari. Something unnerving about it drove a chill up the Doctor's spine.

Crossing her arms Misato nods her heard with some confidence. "It's good to see that despite her injuries she's in good spirits."

"She shouldn't have a spirit…"

Ritsuko's words were so soft Misato didn't catch enough to make anything out of it. "What was that?"

"Nothing…"

* * *

Will Rei last? 


	3. Chapter 2: Ira

**Neon Genesis Evangelion: **

**Libertas & Animus **

**Chapter 2: Ira**

**-**

* * *

"It's cold."

A lone young female voice can be heard in Japanese, she sounds frightened and insecure. Swallowed in total darkness, nothing can be seen. The sounds in the room are that of beeps that coincided with the young girls heart beat. Suddenly a light breaks through the darkness its pure and bright as it opens it reveals the identity of the young girl who lays in a large bed, surrounded by hospital equipment. The girl is Rei Ayanami she quinces at the bright light that's shining in; the light is dimmed as a shadow of a man is cast over the bed. The shadowy figure moves in letting the siding door shut. Rei once again finds her self in the insecurities of the darkness. A familiar voice is heard in the darkness its manner is kind and non-threatening.

"I'm going to turn on the lights okay." The soft kind voice eases any of Rei's fear if she had any. A sharp pain is felt in her eyes she slowly reopens to see a man she knows all to well, Gendo Ikari. Gendo slowly walks over and sits in the chair next to her bed with a folder. Rei still lying down slowly looks over to him. "Hello Rei."

Rei gives her diabolical master silence. What could she say she thinks, he is too clever to be lied to, he knows her better then any human on the planet. What to say to a man you lost favor to only days ago. The battles against the angels have left Rei with stark criticism to her father like figure. His presence brings back horrible memories, the battle against the thirteenth and fourteenth stand out. She has felt betrayed by Gendo's disregard to his son's pleas, and then her own near death against the fourteenth. Staring up into the cold man, Rei doesn't even smile. Gendo goes to place his hand onto Rei's leg but is denied with such pleasure.

Rei turns her back despite the pain to her body; she closes her eyes and whispers past her pain. "I wish not to speak right now."

Gendo pulls back his hand, studying the action of the child before him. Never has she denied him his touch. "What's wrong Rei?"

"There is nothing wrong." Rei's voice nearly cracks as she tries to hide the pain of her position.

Her breathing is slowly increasing as she is slowly reminded of something she nearly forgot. The pain in her lower body returns, the attack on her by a drunken Technician. Rei couldn't really say she didn't understand the attack, and the more she looks back at it Gendo can be blamed. There are over twenty two hundred Technicians assigned to Central dogma. Many are fully armed and have nothing to do trapped in the world largest hole in the ground. It was only a matter of time before someone snapped. Before her attack two Technicians from Weapon and Development were run over by a drunken man from Security Forces. For nearly nine months Gendo placed NERV on lock down to finish both Evangelion Unit One and Unit Zero. That was nine months of isolation, which would bring any normal person to insanity. In the end there were so many problems with personal that the Evangelion's were finished in the projected time if they didn't go on lockdown.

Staring at the side of her bed, Rei mouth is trembling, never has she tried to hide something from her long lasting caretaker. Her silence pays off she hears Gendo stand up and exit from the room leaving her in the dark. As soon as the door closes, Rei rolls off her hip and sighs in relief. Looking all around Rei begins to rub her temples.

"What am I doing?"

* * *

-

Outside of Rei's hospital room Gendo Ikari stand against the door with his eyes closed. His entire experience with Rei just now felt anomalous. For the first time he felt that Rei was angry with him. The intellectual looks off down the hallway completely oblivious to Vise Commander Fuyutsuki who stands staring at him.

Giving a light sigh, Fuyutsuki places both his hands in his pockets. "What's wrong?"

"We need a pilot." The comment came quickly, Fuyutsuki steps back speechless to reply. Gendo takes off his glasses and begins to clean them with a handkerchief. "It's time to select the Third Child, Rei isn't well enough to fight."

Gendo simply begins to walk, almost leaving his comrade behind. Catching up to Gendo Fuyutsuki shows concern for what was just said. "Are you serious? You know damn well what the hell that means. There is only one kid out there that can pilot Unit One."

Stopping to wait for an elevator, Gendo places his glasses back on his head. "I'm well aware of who will be the pilot. Unit Zero is only a test type that has no weapon hard points, or launch rails it's battery life is half that of Unit One. I don't think we can wait for them to finish Unit Two, they will not begin simulation for two weeks and a full activation test in nineteen days."

"This wouldn't have to do with your committee meeting this morning." Fuyutsuki mumbles as the two enter a newly arrived elevator care. "Don't tell me you promised them a successful activation and now you need to deliver. Every damn time you're challenged you have to except. We lost four really good people the last time you need to prove yourself, not to mention what happened to the First child."

"We will have a successful activation in seven days. I don't want to here why we cant, I just want it done."

Silence fills the elevator, only the sounds of the cables are heard rattling above their heads. As the void becomes uncomfortable for Fuyutsuki he looks to the floor and speaks. "I will have the new operation's director take care of it."

The elevator comes to a stop and Gendo exits leaving Fuyutsuki inside her turns his head just as the door closes. "Just get it done."

When the door closes Fuyutsuki mutters to himself. "I always do. And I always clean up when you're done."

* * *

-

When the elevator comes to it final stop Fuyutsuki exits and makes his way through NERV's headquarters quickly reaching his goal. In a large office deep with in Central Dogma, he finds Captain Misato Katsuragi, the latest member of the First Branch. He enters to find the room is a mess boxes filled with paper work fills it; the smell in the air is that of stale coffee. Approaching the desk he looks to see Misato on the floor behind it going over a fold she found in one of the many boxes. Her uniform is less them perfect, even though she wears the red skirt her top is blue with her uniform coat laying in the chair.

Rolling his eyes at the improper dress, he gives a fake cough to get the attention of the captain. She turns and nearly explodes out of her position on the ground. She reaches full attention and stands staring at one of her new bosses.

"Sir, I didn't here you come in."

"It's okay." Fuyutsuki stares to see she was reading a file on Rei Ayanami. After a quick glance her turns his attention to Misato who has already fallen out of her standing attention. "I came to give you your first assignment as Operations Director."

With a small smile Misato goes to her seat, before she sits down she notices that "Really…"

Putting his hands behind his back Fuyutsuki takes a second to gather his thoughts for his impending lie. "We have just received word from the Marduk Institute that the Third Child has been found."

"Really, a Third?" Misato remains standing to show respect to Fuyutsuki. She had heard stories on how strict Ikari and Fuyutsuki run first branch and does her best not to disappoint. She is slightly concerned to be seen that she is wearing a non-regulation shirt under her jacket. "When will I get my report?"

Giving a small shrug, Fuyutsuki goes to leave. "I just got word moments ago. I'm sure the official report will come around thirteen hundred hours, giver or take."

Other questions fill Misato's mind, she had been reading up on her other pilot, Rei Ayanami and has found a lot of disturbing information. "Sir, I had a question…"

Looking into Misato's eyes, Fuyutsuki takes notice of the father in the girl that stands before him. Doctor Nago Katsuragi was a brilliant scientist and also one of the first the Seele committee recruited. He first met Misato when she was only a baby, at a Conference held at MIT in 1997 held by Katsuragi and a Doctor O'Conner. The two were both members of Seele; the conference was a front for a way to recruit new scientists. To think that the child he saw would become the beautiful woman standing before him was just unthinkable. Of course Fuyutsuki has always been stimulated by young woman. The very reason he has got tired up into the web of villainy was because he was chasing the skirt of a young girl named Yui Ikari.

"Yes what's wrong?"

Holding up the folder she was just reading. Misato pulls out a page and hands it to Fuyutsuki. "I could help notice that Rei has no recorded genetic problems. However when I saw her the other day, she showed all the signs of being Albino."

Smiling to see that the girl is just as clever as her father, Fuyutsuki hands the sheet back to Misato. "Not all things on the pilots can be found in their folder, Captain."

"Pilots need to be physically and mentally to pilot, Genetic problems like Albinism, Polio, things of this nature could cause a…"

"Captain…" Fuyutsuki interrupts the rookie's flaring speech before it gets to long winded. "The First Child does have a condition; however it is not a factor in the matter of piloting. I suggest to you that you don't inquiry into it as well. I'm well aware of your masters in bio-chemistry and engineering, but right now you look to be about twelve, so I suggest you don't worry about things that fall way over your pay grade. In addition Captain if you wish to last past your first day here, I suggest you were what the regulations state."

Swallowing her pride and ego, Misato bows her head. "Yes sir…" The young woman watches as her commander exits. Once he does, Misato falls into her chair sinking as deep as she can before falling out of it. Rubbing her head Misato speaks to herself. "Smooth Misato, why don't you go tell him that he sucks at doing his job. No, wait you just did you idiot."

Picking up the file holding Rei's information, Misato spins her chair in to a slow rotation. Studding the girls file, Misato studies the girl's picture to see if she missed something about the girl not being an albino. When the chair comes to a stop, Misato tosses the file on to the desk and looks up into the lights.

"Rei Ayanami… The First Child…"

Standing up out of her chair, Misato grabs her coat putting in one over her out of Regulation top. After she pulls her hair out from under the coat, she exits her new office in search of some guidance from an old companion.

* * *

-

Lying on a tilted hospital bed, with its front end lifted so Rei can eat the food before her. White rice that rests in a dull yellow bowl warren from being over washed is her main course. Next to the bowl, in a small pallet is a selection of pre-frozen Vegetables. Very little interest in the food is coming from its owner only a glance is from time to time. What consumes the mind of the child before it, is the chart for her own injures. Rei studies as if something was missed. Her pain is very real however, she has denied herself Morphine for two days, in stead has relied on sheer will power.

'The pain on this cross is nothing compared to the agony of the Evangelion.'

The statement was true as if it came from one who knew of detailed knowledge of the travesty Eva brings. Hypocrisy was also a good word Rei thought, the weapon that bares just as much pain as it gives out, yet still be called a protector. "It is a creature of bigotry, were its bearer must take equivalent pain as its wishes to bear."

Placing the chart down next to fragile leg, Rei silence can not hide the exasperation she exposes; that of disappointment. If her calculation is correct the Angel will be making its march to destiny within hours. Her last contact with her Angel has been just as long. Being alone is hard for Rei, even if she has always been alone. In the past Rei has always felt comfort when bonded to something be it Evangelion, Drugs, a person. The connection of having something similar in nature or circumstance doesn't exist in her fated chance for change.

A knock at the door shatters Rei's concentration. She looks to the door to see it only open a sliver, from what she can see through the crack who stands before her is some one in her school Uniform.

"Miss Ayanami…."

"Enter." Rei's voice was as dry as always, she watches as a fearful member of her class enters into the room. Within the girls grasp is a packet full of school hand outs. It is then it dawns on Rei that she still goes to school. The realization makes life seem a little easier in a rhetorical sense.

Rei the middle school student was the ghost she was always told to be. No friends, no problems, no worries. It all may seem trivial but for Rei the students of her school were always fascinating, most of her philosophy was based off of what she observed. Staring at the Student before her, a half Chinese/Half Japanese girl only five two in height, Rei remembers all she can about the girl. Sitting four seats to the left and a row back her name is hard to remember, but it does come to Rei as Rui Mu Tan. The girl seems to keep to here Chinese routs, wearing her back hair long and stair. Her eyes structure holds a greater slant then the average Japanese. Standing there like a frightened child Rei tries to remember how much of her history she knows. Then it hits her, the girl's life ends in the attack of the fourteenth Angel. Bunker seventeen block two nearly twenty seven students died there, the Class Representative for 2-A spoke to the class once.

The silence for the young girl is to much as she simply holds out the papers in her hands. "Um… Miss Horaki… wished for I… To take… To give you…"

A question comes to Rei's mind; she always wanted to ask this of a student but never felt the need to until know. "Miss Tan, are you frightened of me?"

"Yes… I mean…" The girl seems to curse her impulsive response. Rei on the other hand shows no fault in it. This still doesn't satisfy the young Rui. "I mean no… I'm sorry I am just shy…"

This life before Rei, no matter how trivial it was before this moment has meaning now. Just by having the knowledge of Rui's end bothers Rei. Looking at it from a perspective only Rei can have, she is compelled to further her depths in the power she has been given. With a single word or action Rei could change this girl's life for the possible better. Or Rei can do nothing and have Class Representative Horaki give her memorial as planned.

"Why do you fear me?"

Just wishing for Rei to take the papers in her hand and go, Rui stutters to give a response. "It's not that I… I mean… you… You seem I don't know, like you lack stuff in side, an… I don't know…"

"An Identity…"

Rubbing the back of her head, Rui thanks god in her mind that Ayanami looks away. Seeing that the girls new thought has distracted her, Rui bows out and leaves the room. Rei just remains still as she studies her new feeling. Each step Rei take further into this new world only brings Rei through a deluge of thought and feelings, something she is beginning to enjoy.

* * *

-

Marching down a large corridor, Ritsuko Akagi seems to be boiling with anger. The Technicians around her can see it and part like the red sea. Through a large door, the scientist enters into the Evangelion storage area, also known as the "Cage" walking past an empty unit she makes her way towards the other, which is marked "Cage 4" and holds Evangelion Unit One. On the umbilical bridge, Ritsuko finds the reason why she is angry, Misato Katsuragi.

When she comes up next to her she is to made to even speak properly, she only stands there with Misato staring at her. Misato tilts her head unsure on what her friend wants. "Is something wrong?"

"Something!" Ritsuko pulls out a letter and holds it in front of Misato's face. "You added something to the Third Child's Activation packet!"

With a smile Misato pulls Ritsuko's arm to the side. "Come on, Ritsuko, you told me it would be okay to do things for the new pilot. I saw the picture and felt sorry for the kid."

Throwing the sheet to the ground Ritsuko begins to yell. "It says that you added, Fan Serves! What the hell did it mean by fan serves?"

All who observe this spectacle begin to laugh a little, Misato is glad to see some life in the people at this base and waves her hand under minding Ritsuko's anger. "Come on Ritsuko, what, do you think I am, it was just a picture. Do you really think Commander Ikari would be that upset that I added a Picture to his own son's Activation packet, besides it's not like he would now what it was."

Just as Ritsuko goes to speak a siren goes off, it's long and continuous. Everyone looks around not sure on what to make of it. As it continues it forces all to stop what they are doing. It ends and is quickly followed by a voice over the PA system. "Attention all personnel, Attention Battle station Level Two! Battle Station Level Two! Security Forces, go to F.P. Con Delta, I repeat Force protection condition Delta!"

The alarm ends and all stands in silence, Misato's heart begins to race, before she can even speak Ritsuko looks to her just as nervous. "We have to get to the Command Center!"

The two senior members of NERV quickly reach the Command Center, once there they find all senior bridge crew on duty as well as members of the UN Armed Forces. Misato steps up to the center of the "Bridge" the location of the Command center where the senior operations members coordinate all Evangelion operations. Above her is the "CON" here is where all Command level observers sit.

Not even sure on what's going on, Misato looks to one of the Bridge members, not even sure of his name. "Lieutenant…" The only one that turns is a young man in glasses and short spiky hair. "What is the situation report?"

"Ma'am, A.T. Field was detected in the Pacific Ocean by the USS Annapolis about twenty minutes ago. Ten minutes ago, a mark two Keyhole Satellite reached the area of the A.T. Field, it confirmed an object almost five hundred meters in length and one hundred in width, was submerged and heading for the Japanese coast…"

Not even able to fathom what all this means Misato simply stares off to the main viewing hub looking at ground and air tactical data. Entering the bridge is Gendo Ikari and his patsy Fuyutsuki. They quickly take control as Gendo looks to his battle staff. "Begin City Battle Formation check list. Contact T.C.P.F., have them begin a level four evacuation of Tokyo Three and surrounding area's."

The long haired Bridge Technician that sits at the left side of the Bridge announces what he is doing to keep all in formed. "Tokyo Three Civil Police Force has been contacted… They confirm order for level four Evac."

In the center, the glasses wearing Technician turns to the commands before him. "Sir, C.B.F. activation will occur in forty minutes."

From above one of the three UN observers gives a sarcastic chuckle. "I assume you wish to error on the side of caution, Commander."

Fuyutsuki glances to Gendo to see that the two are holding the same thought. The arrogance of the UN scruple that sits in their chairs could be excused if it wasn't for is out right stupidity that he projected to the two.

For Gendo he smiles to Fuyutsuki before turning to the three members of the UN Armed Forces with a stern and determined look. "Generals, I request permission to send a team from section two division to the Yoki district to retrieve, a critical personnel."

"Section Two…" One of the General mocks his NERV counterpart. "No your NERV blood hounds can sit this one out, if you need Extraction or pick up of personnel you can do it through us."

If there is one thing Gendo Ikari is not used to, that is denial. Turning back to his staff, her clenches his fists with anger. Ritsuko, Misato and Fuyutsuki notice this and step into a circle to talk about what has just happened. Gendo looks over his upper staff knowing that something needs to be done. "We have a problem."

"Critical personnel…" Ritsuko eye's narrow as she whispers her words to all. "Who the hell is out there?"

The man questioned doesn't need to answer as Fuyutsuki delivers the proper response. "The Third Child arrival was bumped up to today."

"What!" Misato blurts out but notices that it wasn't liked so she silences herself.

"We can consider him a loss, if that is an Angel on its way, that area will surely be N Two mined." Gendo voices with his mellow voice. No care that he is his son comes through. "Ready Unit Zero for combat, get Rei out of the hospital and prepare her for activation."

The words from Gendo feel like hot knives stabbing a heart to Misato. She shakes her head in distaste for the Idea. "Look, if we can't retrieve the pilot by conventional means we should send just one operative for evac, not abandon him. The First child is in no condition to fight."

"How do you think we go about doing this Captain?" Fuyutsuki asks glad to here that someone other then he, isn't willing to give up on a life so easily.

"I know what the Third Child looks like, and he knows what I look like, I can get him with little confrontation or notice." Misato states with confidence. "If I don't return in time or die, send out the First in her Evangelion. At least give me a chance to get your son."

Gendo is disgusted with the ending sentence and if it wasn't for the crowd, he would chew out Misato for her comment. However, when looking to see that Ritsuko and Fuyutsuki seem to approve of the idea, Gendo capitulates. "Alright, you can go, you have little time, so take your P.O.V."

With a salute Misato leaves the group and out of the Command Center all together. Gendo turns to Ritsuko with a thought. "How does the Third Child know what the Captain looks like?"

"Fan serves."

* * *

-

"It is time…"

Staring out her window, Rei Ayanami endures her pain to watch as the main doors for each retractable building open. Alarms go off through out the Geo-Front; strobe lights begin to flash as the gears power up to lower the city into the security of the underground. For Rei she has seen this many of time before, and it all has the same ending, battle. "However things are different, Unit Zero is not incased in Suppression fluid her body may be in pain but her mental endurance to the pain is that of a legend.

"Time, time has changed, maybe for the better maybe for the worst." Looking to her hand Rei gives a smile. "I can only hope… for the better…"

Using the wall for support Rei makes her way to her bed and sits down resting her broken hip. Not soon after nurses enter into her room with a wheelchair. Before the nurses can speak, Rei looks to them. "Take me to my destiny."

* * *

Can Rei fight…?


End file.
